Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Bad Day Today :(

I am having a bad day today. I woke up with cat hair in my eye, woke up in throbbing pain all over my body. Just wished I could stay in bed and sleep. Day got progressively worse. But before I tell you what happened next, I will explain what I been through. My EDS is getting worse. My body is throbbing in pain and headaches are becoming a daily thing. I went to my Dr. She diagnosed me with Tendinitis of the elbow which affects the whole arm! I am swollen all up and down my right arm and the shooting pain is too much to bear at times. So with this Dr. gave me two weeks off work, and then I work half time for three months.
Work took information and gave me the twenty questions. I felt guilty for being ill. But the truth of the matter is, if I was able to be free of my pain and body limitations I would gladly work normal hours and have a normal life. I feel like work is treating this as something I have asked for. I was born with EDS and if I had the choice I would not have signed up for it. It is frustrating to have this condition and it makes me angry and frustrated that I get treated the way I do because I am sick.
So today I got in the mail paperwork from my work for my Dr to fill out. This confused me as I am a foundation employee and not a state employee…yet the State Human resource person sent me the extra paper work to have filled out? I was confused. Dr Office was confused. This is not my first round of Family medical leave act. I used my three months last year due to worsening of EDS, and then getting WLS. None of this “extra” paperwork did I have to fill out. All I had to do the first time of FMLA was just send an e-mail and send in the Dr Note.
I called the lady in Human resources and questioned the new method of doing things (politely of course) She told me since I asked to go part-time this paperwork had to be filled out so I could keep my benefits…really? I never did this before I told her….I was just very confused. I also kindly corrected her and told her I did not ask to be part-time, due to my condition this is why I am working part-time. She laughed it off, and told me I had to fill out the paperwork by law. My gut is telling me I am getting played. But what can I do? I have no extra $$$ for a lawyer……I am just upset and bitter now. I did feel insanely guilty before….missing work because of being in pain 24/7 and not being able to perform my duties as before. Now I am just mad.
Also, to add a cherry to my already frustrated day of a sundae. I go to my Dr. Office and have my honey drops off my paperwork. He comes back and tells me the receptionist does not think the DR will fill out paperwork due to the fact that I did not show up for my appointment. I was livid!!!! WTF?????? I marched in there and though I was in pain, and very upset…I tried to keep my cool. I told the receptionist that there was some confusion regarding my appointment with my Dr. I saw her 4/21 and she diagnosed me, gave me time off and then told me to see her in a month. So being a good little patient I paid my co-pay asked to cancel my 4/28 appointment and made an appointment for 5/26. Well apparently my 4/28 appointment never got canceled. ERRRRRRRR…so she just looked at me and said there was nothing she could do, and to write a letter to the office manager regarding the matter. Really?????? URGH…so I came home used my throbbing right hand and wrote a polite but stern letter stating the events and that if they looked at my appointment history of over the years I never missed an appointment and that I had in fact canceled my appointment with Dr. I also added to let the Dr know I did not purposely miss the appointment but that in fact I had canceled it, just that it was never done.
After all this stuff happening today…I finally let my strong self cry. I just cried because I feel wronged not just by my work, my Dr Office mistake, but also by my body. I am angry and frustrated and just wished that there was a cure for EDS. I just wish I could feel normal. Life would be easier, so here I am crying and blogging because I don’t know what else I can do………